seemingly so it ain't so, it just seems to be

Let’s call it Seeking

L

— He is such a seeker, is something that people tend to say when they want to describe a person with spiritual pursuits. For practical purposes it might be better to speak about seekers in that limited way, but nonetheless let me bring some clarity into the wording:

The seeking dynamic is everywhere. If you are reading this text it is most probably in you. On a surface level it does tend to look different from person to person, but essentially it is the same for everyone: An impatience with what is and a never-ending desperation for more.

Seeking is in the person hurrying to work in his car, believing it is going to become better if he reaches there earlier. Seeking is in the engineer that constantly solves problems, becoming stressed out if there is no problem to solve. Seeking is in the stock-broker that just made his first million, now looking to earn two millions. Seeking is in the mother that can’t have enough children to satisfy her craving for love.

Some seekers do identify that there is this constant craving for more and they seek a way out of it, normally they first come to believe that if they follow a teaching or a method of some sort, they will find that way. So they might find a method that suits their particular cultural background, be it religion if the seeker is inclined that way or therapy if the seeker is inclined another way. Both examples essentially carries the same promise: If you follow a set of rules you will reach a better version of yourself.

But seeking is still seeking. It doesn’t matter what the seeker thinks he or she is going to achieve with the seeking, whether it be more money or a better version of yourself.

The paradox for the seeker is that there is no final goal for him or her, there can not be. The goals which are sought are nothing but feelings really, like the feeling of having ’a lot of money’ or the feeling of achieving ’final spiritual freedom’, but since they are feelings they will always relate to ever-changing experiences, which means that no goal is ever going to be achieved permanently. Cutting it short: This means, like I was saying, that a seeker is never seeking a solid goal that can be achieved (at least not for more than a very limited time).

Most seekers find that very difficult to grasp, and also rather anxiety-activating since their perception of reality is usually linear and what is being described here is not, so they have probably stopped reading this text by now. And if they have continued to read, they are probably doing so blindfolded.

There are seekers that do, now and then, experience the hopelessness of seeking. That might implode their linear perception of life and from that being might arise (in contrast to me:ing). It can get recognized that there was never any seeking happening, that it was all a charade, empty of meaning, now seen as hollow memories.

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[…] I thought. Luckily, everything changes, and something realized I had only climbed the throne of seeking. And sitting there, even that was not for very […]

seemingly so it ain't so, it just seems to be

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