seemingly so it ain't so, it just seems to be

Impossible sharing

I

When me and Alice Ekelund crossed Himalaya and on the day we entered Nepal I remember one thought that ran through my mind: ”Good luck trying to Google this.”

Since then I have been trying and trying to translate my experiences from that time, to make them somewhat possible to sense from the perspective of another. I don’t know why I want to do that, but this morning I woke up and looked out the window and I saw the morning sun over the sea and yet again I had that feeling that I wanted to communicate the beauty that was perceived in that moment.

At times I seem to be able to create a strong energy when describing different experiences and at those times it seems like people do re-live it a bit. They are pulled by the energy of my sharing, but I know that it is only that: a brief exchange of energy, similar to that of a powerful stage artist that can — for a moment — catch the attention of it’s audience. However it is only a brief experience and it is brushed away soon by the winds of change.

I imagine that what I feel now is similar to that of an elderly person: How can I share this life in any way? For anyone? And in the long run, does it matter at all?

What is written here might be perceived as sad, but to me it is only what is, a process which most probably will reach the mind of anyone living this life, as natural as the darkening of the autumn leaves. That is beauty.

Will I stop to share?

Only when the last leaf has fallen and none is growing back again. Spontaneous, without agenda and without final destination the sharing continues until then.

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seemingly so it ain't so, it just seems to be

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