seemingly so it ain't so, it just seems to be


Free of Impurities


She was the authority of this place and I was only a small drop in the sea of all of the hundreds of thousands of students that followed this tradition, therefore I was hesitant but I still mustered the guts to ask her that question: ”Why be here if I am already free?””If you would be free you would be Buddha and then you wouldn’t have any problem whatsoever sitting here and focusing in...

The stories not told


I put my pen down 11 years ago and told myself that I will not write again until I have found my own heart. In the beginning of those following years I met a man and he said to me: ”If you start on this journey, you will have things to write about for the rest of your life.” My greediness at the time had no doubt about that and I threw myself off the cliff and in the fall I lost my pen. Even...

3, 7, 48


I saw this video of a girl singing and I told her it was beautiful. She said thanks and carefully I asked for more. She gave me a recording and I listened and I asked for more. She gave me three recordings and I cried and I asked for more. She gave wonder and beauty and I asked for more. She gave tears and joy and I asked for more. She gave trembling out of fear and I asked for more. She gave...



I had met Her and it suddenly seemed like the whole body realized what it meant to fully feel that. It was terrifying and it felt like a straight and steep road that made every moment go faster and faster. During those days my mornings in the bed were very long and I lay still as a stone and felt the world eat my anxiety up and slowly turn it into love and so it was revealed to me, piece by...

Promises of Nirvana


Nowadays I don’t care a rat’s ass about Yoga. The whole scene of it is a circus — God dressing up as spiritual teachers preaching different versions of the messages ”you are going to feel better” or ”you are going to have a life-changing experience”. Some of these teachers even promise Nirvana to their students. Such arrogance! When I realized that the ”promise of Nirvana” actually wasn’t Nirvana...

What a fragile thing it is


I consider him to have been a womanizer, the me of ten years ago. During that period in time Lars would have jumped at any opportunity of connecting with an attractive woman. It was a quite intense job and a lot of painful defeats. The defeats seemed like a necessary evil in the pursuit of the female. Eventually it would always connect. Lars would go very deep very fast, always, without...

seemingly so it ain't so, it just seems to be



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